Ego Development and Communication
The ego develops due to the necessity of both communication and problem-solving. If a person’s needs were always effortlessly fulfilled, there would be no reason to develop language or problem-solving skills. The ego arises when dealing with unmet needs, and when trying to overcome problems.
Grounded in early childhood, it is there where the infant’s propensities are fully known to a caregiver. In adulthood, these people might harbor the same wish and feel as though others should be aware of their needs without them being vocalized. When the expectation is not met, this leads to frustration and feelings of abandonment. One can also call this ‘partial orphaning’.
These events are necessary in stating needs and finding solutions. They contribute towards a sense of self, and one can learn to express oneself about what one wants and desires and work towards ensuring these desires are met. The ego can only be developed in the process of being able to effectively communicate and solve problems alone.
Orphaning as a Process
Orphaning is the psychological effect of unfulfilled needs. It includes instances in which the caregivers fail to provide for the needs of a child, thereby causing abandonment. Such experiences push the child into the development of ways in which one can deal with the environment, leading to independence and self-sufficiency.
The child is taught how to go through life knowing that they may not always get what they want. This creates strength within them but also can create a sense of aloneness and abandonment if it is not counteracted with supportive care.
Ego and Orphaning in Development: Example of ‘Orphaning’ Using Water Need
Now, consider a baby that is thirsty and needs some water, but there is no way to communicate that need by talking. If the caregiver doesn’t pick up on that baby’s signals (e.g., crying) right away, then there is a moment of unmet need. This situation will make the infant find another way of communicating with them, maybe through pointing out or making certain sounds that show interest in water. Through repeated experiences, in which the infant will have to find a way to communicate in order to meet their need for water, they will be developed both in their problem-solving skills and their sense of self.
When an infant’s need for water is not perceived by the care provider, or when care is unresponsive to that need, the infant feels ‘abandoned’ in that moment. This sense of abandonment propels the infant toward acting out coping mechanisms such as crying louder, or trying to reach the water for themself. The infant internalizes these experiences over time that assist in the development of a self-image characterized by self-reliance and the ego.
An infant learned through repeated experience of not being given water instantly that one has to rely on oneself. While this develops self-reliance, it also evokes a sense of isolation if the caregiver keeps denying the needs of the baby.
A balanced approach involves the caregiver failing to respond to the baby’s cues that are precursors to the development of communication by the baby, but also responding often enough to the baby’s needs so that the baby has the opportunity to feel a sense of security. Too much abandonment, such as failure to respond to the baby’s cues for water, may lead to severe emotional problems and a fragmented ego. Healthy ego development requires interactions and support that are good enough, such as offering water frequently when the infant is thirsty.
Healthy Development
Failure to meet the infant’s need for water all the time allows the baby to develop problem-solving and adaptability skills. Giving the baby a lot of water helps them feel secure and supported by the caregiver. Only through this balanced approach can a healthy, well-adjusted ego be developed—a healthy ego that is not swayed from growing up into a person who will be both independent and at the same time emotionally secure.
Back and Forth Between Abandonment and Interaction
Some lack of experience in water need stimulates growth and independence because the baby needs to learn to communicate problems and solve them. Such experiences help the baby to find his way round difficulties and to be able to take care of themself.
Prevention of Emotional Damage
Regularity of care and interaction, for example, regular giving of water when necessary prevents emotional damage. Satisfactory parenting ensures that the baby does not experience catastrophic abandonment and thus remains emotionally healthy.
Development of the Resilient Ego
The consideration between the occasional inability to satisfy a need and frequent caring helps in the development of a resilient and well-functioning ego. An individual learns how to be challenged yet secure within their relationship. This balanced approach develops self-sufficiency and, meanwhile, emotional safety which in turn fosters a healthy ego.
